AFI
Before I get into the AFI quote list, Guerilla by Super Furry Animals is fuckin sweet. Northern Lites, Do or Die... damn. Once again, it's proof that Super Furry Animals makes utterly enjoyable experimental pop. It seems like they have a lot of fun when they're putting their sound together. I defy anyone with an open mind to listen to this CD and not smile. Bless those fellows.
Anyway, AFI just came out with the top 100 quotes of all time, and not surprisingly they are the bedrock quotes that have become utterly cliche, even in parody. But, like everyone else, I started to think of which quotes I would put into such a list. Here are a few, and by all means, if anyone reads this, feel free to add your own in the comments.
"If Hate Were People, I'd Be China!"
-Daniel Stern, from City Slickers. It's in the middle of a fight with his soon to be ex-wife. Such bizarre statements are rare in mainstream comedies, I think, especially those written by Bubaloo Mandel. Honorable Mention comes from a depressed Daniel Stern's interaction with Billy Crystal and Bruno Kirby, at the corral: "Where have you been?" Stern: "Over at the corral, watchin' em castrate a bull."
"Oh God, you are so big, so tremendously huge, gosh, we're all really impressed down here I can tell you."
-Michael Palin as a preacher in Monty Python's Meaning of Life. If I went on to use every one of my favorite quotes from their movies, I'd be here awhiles. So, one more, this one from John Cleese in Life of Brian. "But men can't have babies, you haven't got a womb! Where would the fetus gestate, in a box?"
"No. No, Mother, I have not been drinking. No. No. These two men, they poured a whole bottle of bourbon into me. No, they didn't give me a chaser."
-Cary Grant in North by Northwest. This entire scene where he's drunk is still hilarious.
"Drinking don't bother my memory. If it did I wouldn't drink. I couldn't. You see, I'd forget how good it was, then where'd I be? Start drinkin' water, again."
-Humphrey Bogart, in To Have And Have Not, which interestingly was a William Faulkner screenplay loosely based off an Ernest Hemingway novel.
I guess I could add "Look at Me," from Get Shorty, not because some might see it as a bad-ass line from John Travolta ("Harry, look at me. You're trying to tell me you fucked up without sounding stupid, and that's hard to do."), before we knew he was insane, but because of the way the other characters who are so enamored with Chili Palmer try to use it - Gene Hackman's is the funniest, when he's trying to intimidate Ray Barbone, the gangster.
Too many quotes from the Big Lebowski to put them all here, so one will do, courtesy of Jeff Bridges: "God damn you Walter! You fuckin' asshole! Everything's a fuckin' travesty with you, man! And what was all that shit about Vietnam? What the FUCK, has anything got to do with Vietnam? What the fuck are you talking about?"
Another great quote from Jeff Bridges, from The Contender, where he plays a smarmy son of a bitch president, but is likeable anyway: "Who doesn't want a shortcut to greatness?"
Albert Finney: You hear about Rug?
Gabriel Byrne: Yeah, RIP.
AF: They took his hair, Tommy. Jesus, that's strange, why would they do that?
GB: Maybe it was injuns.
-From Miller's Crossing.
Another great set of dialogue from the same movie:
Hitman: If I tell you, how do I know you won't kill me?
Eddie Dane: Because if you told me and I killed you and you were lying I wouldn't get to kill you *then*. Where's Leo?
Mel Brooks:
Auctioneer: Where are you from?
Josephus: Ethiopia
Auctioneer: What part?
Josephus: 125th Street.
Dr. Frankenstein: You know, I'm a rather brilliant surgeon. Perhaps I can help you with that hump.
Igor: What hump?
Taggart: I got it. I got it.
Hedley: You do?
Taggart: We'll work up a "Number 6" on 'em.
Hedley: "Number 6"? I'm afraid I'm not familiar with that one...
Taggart: Well, that's where we go a-ridin' into town, a whampin' and whompin' every livin' thing that moves within an inch of its life. Except the women folks, of course.
Hedley: You spare the women?
Taggart: NAW. We rape the shit out of them at the Number 6 Dance later on.
Hedley: Marvelous.
Dark Helmet: So, Lone Star, now you see that evil will always triumph because good is dumb.
From Rushmore
Herman Blume: You guys have it real easy. I never had it like this where I grew up. But I send my kids here because the fact is you go to one of the best schools in the country: Rushmore. Now, for some of you it doesn't matter. You were born rich and your going to stay rich. But here's my advice to the rest of you: Take dead aim on the rich boys. Get them in the crosshairs and take them down. Just remember, they can buy anything but they can't buy backbone. Don't let them forget it. Thank you.
-Bill Murray
Dr.Strangelove:
Gen. Ripper: No, I mean when they (the Japanese) tortured you did you talk?
Mandrake: Ah, oh, no, I don't think they wanted me to talk really, I don't think they wanted me to say anything. It was just their way of having a bit of fun the swines. Strange thing is they make such bloody good cameras.
John Bigboote: Your Overthruster's for shit!
-John Lithgow, in Buckaroo Banzai
Roger: I could tell you that what you think of as your personality is nothing but a collection of Vanity Fair articles. I could tell you your choice of sexual partners this evening was decided months ago by some account executive at Young & Rubicam. I could tell you that given a week to study your father and the ways in which he ignores you I could come up with a schtick you'd be helpless to resist. Helpless
-Campbell Scott in Roger Dodger, but basically the whole movie is one great quote.
Chris: I couldn't wait to see it. After the show I was asked if I wanted to go meet some of the performers backstage. Man, I was thrilled. But when I got back there, they were drunk and out of control. Rumpus Caddem McCavity kept feeling up my leg. I tried to leave, but, Rumpleteaser held me down, and... I was raped by Mr. Mestophiles.
-from Team America
Upton: I'm gonna open up this faggot robe and wiggle my dick at em. And do you know why? Because I want you to have a heart-attack and die so we don't have to do this shit anymore. You and your fucking fashion shows.
-from Slap Shot
I'm all out for now. IMDB.com is quite helpful when you're looking for quotes, by the way.
Anyway, AFI just came out with the top 100 quotes of all time, and not surprisingly they are the bedrock quotes that have become utterly cliche, even in parody. But, like everyone else, I started to think of which quotes I would put into such a list. Here are a few, and by all means, if anyone reads this, feel free to add your own in the comments.
"If Hate Were People, I'd Be China!"
-Daniel Stern, from City Slickers. It's in the middle of a fight with his soon to be ex-wife. Such bizarre statements are rare in mainstream comedies, I think, especially those written by Bubaloo Mandel. Honorable Mention comes from a depressed Daniel Stern's interaction with Billy Crystal and Bruno Kirby, at the corral: "Where have you been?" Stern: "Over at the corral, watchin' em castrate a bull."
"Oh God, you are so big, so tremendously huge, gosh, we're all really impressed down here I can tell you."
-Michael Palin as a preacher in Monty Python's Meaning of Life. If I went on to use every one of my favorite quotes from their movies, I'd be here awhiles. So, one more, this one from John Cleese in Life of Brian. "But men can't have babies, you haven't got a womb! Where would the fetus gestate, in a box?"
"No. No, Mother, I have not been drinking. No. No. These two men, they poured a whole bottle of bourbon into me. No, they didn't give me a chaser."
-Cary Grant in North by Northwest. This entire scene where he's drunk is still hilarious.
"Drinking don't bother my memory. If it did I wouldn't drink. I couldn't. You see, I'd forget how good it was, then where'd I be? Start drinkin' water, again."
-Humphrey Bogart, in To Have And Have Not, which interestingly was a William Faulkner screenplay loosely based off an Ernest Hemingway novel.
I guess I could add "Look at Me," from Get Shorty, not because some might see it as a bad-ass line from John Travolta ("Harry, look at me. You're trying to tell me you fucked up without sounding stupid, and that's hard to do."), before we knew he was insane, but because of the way the other characters who are so enamored with Chili Palmer try to use it - Gene Hackman's is the funniest, when he's trying to intimidate Ray Barbone, the gangster.
Too many quotes from the Big Lebowski to put them all here, so one will do, courtesy of Jeff Bridges: "God damn you Walter! You fuckin' asshole! Everything's a fuckin' travesty with you, man! And what was all that shit about Vietnam? What the FUCK, has anything got to do with Vietnam? What the fuck are you talking about?"
Another great quote from Jeff Bridges, from The Contender, where he plays a smarmy son of a bitch president, but is likeable anyway: "Who doesn't want a shortcut to greatness?"
Albert Finney: You hear about Rug?
Gabriel Byrne: Yeah, RIP.
AF: They took his hair, Tommy. Jesus, that's strange, why would they do that?
GB: Maybe it was injuns.
-From Miller's Crossing.
Another great set of dialogue from the same movie:
Hitman: If I tell you, how do I know you won't kill me?
Eddie Dane: Because if you told me and I killed you and you were lying I wouldn't get to kill you *then*. Where's Leo?
Mel Brooks:
Auctioneer: Where are you from?
Josephus: Ethiopia
Auctioneer: What part?
Josephus: 125th Street.
Dr. Frankenstein: You know, I'm a rather brilliant surgeon. Perhaps I can help you with that hump.
Igor: What hump?
Taggart: I got it. I got it.
Hedley: You do?
Taggart: We'll work up a "Number 6" on 'em.
Hedley: "Number 6"? I'm afraid I'm not familiar with that one...
Taggart: Well, that's where we go a-ridin' into town, a whampin' and whompin' every livin' thing that moves within an inch of its life. Except the women folks, of course.
Hedley: You spare the women?
Taggart: NAW. We rape the shit out of them at the Number 6 Dance later on.
Hedley: Marvelous.
Dark Helmet: So, Lone Star, now you see that evil will always triumph because good is dumb.
From Rushmore
Herman Blume: You guys have it real easy. I never had it like this where I grew up. But I send my kids here because the fact is you go to one of the best schools in the country: Rushmore. Now, for some of you it doesn't matter. You were born rich and your going to stay rich. But here's my advice to the rest of you: Take dead aim on the rich boys. Get them in the crosshairs and take them down. Just remember, they can buy anything but they can't buy backbone. Don't let them forget it. Thank you.
-Bill Murray
Dr.Strangelove:
Gen. Ripper: No, I mean when they (the Japanese) tortured you did you talk?
Mandrake: Ah, oh, no, I don't think they wanted me to talk really, I don't think they wanted me to say anything. It was just their way of having a bit of fun the swines. Strange thing is they make such bloody good cameras.
John Bigboote: Your Overthruster's for shit!
-John Lithgow, in Buckaroo Banzai
Roger: I could tell you that what you think of as your personality is nothing but a collection of Vanity Fair articles. I could tell you your choice of sexual partners this evening was decided months ago by some account executive at Young & Rubicam. I could tell you that given a week to study your father and the ways in which he ignores you I could come up with a schtick you'd be helpless to resist. Helpless
-Campbell Scott in Roger Dodger, but basically the whole movie is one great quote.
Chris: I couldn't wait to see it. After the show I was asked if I wanted to go meet some of the performers backstage. Man, I was thrilled. But when I got back there, they were drunk and out of control. Rumpus Caddem McCavity kept feeling up my leg. I tried to leave, but, Rumpleteaser held me down, and... I was raped by Mr. Mestophiles.
-from Team America
Upton: I'm gonna open up this faggot robe and wiggle my dick at em. And do you know why? Because I want you to have a heart-attack and die so we don't have to do this shit anymore. You and your fucking fashion shows.
-from Slap Shot
I'm all out for now. IMDB.com is quite helpful when you're looking for quotes, by the way.
posted by JoePo at
1:58 PM
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