Wednesday, June 09, 2010

My Much Belated Tribute to Jon Swift

Jon Swift passed away a few months ago, and one of his funniest posts was on his numerous Amazon Reviews that were mostly scrubbed from the site because they were satirical.

Because I had looked at a few books by W. Cleon Skousen* just to make sure the man was as crazy as I thought, I came across Andrew Allison's hilariously scrubbed entry on Ben Franklin for the Center of National Constitutional Studies, which seeks to make secular saints of the founding fathers, completely scrubbing their bios of any "progressive" leanings or moral failings. After looking at a few of the real reviews, I couldn't resist writing my own Jon Swift review. Here it is, for I'm sure it won't last long:

I have not actually read this book but it's clear that Mr. Allison is a Great American who knows that our Founding Fathers were America's Patron Saints because like the Saints what they did was miraculous and unpopular and now with the benefit of hindsight we can truly see that they were not products of their time but right-thinking individuals who knew slavery had to be protected at the time or else America would have folded and We the People would be speaking chinese now. As a conservative, I am truly disappointed in people who want to paint Mr. Franklin as a pervert because it is clear he was a Great Man and True Great Men are never beset by immoral behavior because they dedicate all of their actions in Jesus' Name. Mr. Franklin would have been an Apostle and its really disappointing to hear liberals tear him down and accuse him of ABHORRENT behavior. Here's what I want to say to liberals -- before you make accusations against Mr. Franklin, remember he has descendants who are still living and would be very hurt to hear your namecalling. And also, READ A BOOK ABOUT HIM before you make any more insinuations. Seriously.

*This post is actually edited from the comment, as I absentmindedly credited Skousen for the book. The comment, should it appear, is unedited in all of its embarrassingly mistakenly-attributed glory.


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