New Ideas for Marquette's Mascot
It's been a while since the last, humiliating campaign to change Marquette's mascot from the inoffensive Golden Eagles, so, assuming the wounds have healed, I propose another go at it:
The Marquette Potowatomi Casinos: Sure, Warriors is an insensitive stereotype - but our favorite local reservationists get a marketing deal with a major university, and they might even pick up the lease on the arena. (Note: Mascot looks nothing like an indian, or what we think an indian should look like)
The Marquette College Republicans: They're already a self-parody, and it's only a small step from self-parody to demeaning stereotype. And what's a mascot if not a demeaning stereotype? Our College Republicans will gamble away their father's money from the car dealership, fag-bash, race-bait, and drink their way into corporate success after a four-year college career.
The Marquette Jew: Really, it will just be the Jewish kid at Marquette. Suggested by Hershel Mandelbaum.
The Marquette Skull-Fuckers: Original, edgy, and will make for one hell of a plush doll at the bookstore.
The Marquette Plutocrat Bastards: Comes with rapeable twelve year-old from Thailand.
The Marquette Jack Bauers: 24 rules.
The Marquette Jesuits: This one is unfeasible because the regional head of the Jesuits will demand a hefty licensing fee.
The Marquette Harvard Crimson: Justifies the recent hikes in tuition.
The Marquette Bushbashers: These five hippies will scream their heads off about how George W. Bush is a terrorist, but everyone will ignore them because who pays attention to a mascot?
The Marquette Human Papilloma Virus: More prevalent on campus now than students from Chicago.
The Marquette Potowatomi Casinos: Sure, Warriors is an insensitive stereotype - but our favorite local reservationists get a marketing deal with a major university, and they might even pick up the lease on the arena. (Note: Mascot looks nothing like an indian, or what we think an indian should look like)
The Marquette College Republicans: They're already a self-parody, and it's only a small step from self-parody to demeaning stereotype. And what's a mascot if not a demeaning stereotype? Our College Republicans will gamble away their father's money from the car dealership, fag-bash, race-bait, and drink their way into corporate success after a four-year college career.
The Marquette Jew: Really, it will just be the Jewish kid at Marquette. Suggested by Hershel Mandelbaum.
The Marquette Skull-Fuckers: Original, edgy, and will make for one hell of a plush doll at the bookstore.
The Marquette Plutocrat Bastards: Comes with rapeable twelve year-old from Thailand.
The Marquette Jack Bauers: 24 rules.
The Marquette Jesuits: This one is unfeasible because the regional head of the Jesuits will demand a hefty licensing fee.
The Marquette Harvard Crimson: Justifies the recent hikes in tuition.
The Marquette Bushbashers: These five hippies will scream their heads off about how George W. Bush is a terrorist, but everyone will ignore them because who pays attention to a mascot?
The Marquette Human Papilloma Virus: More prevalent on campus now than students from Chicago.
posted by JoePo at
7:34 PM
1 Comments:
The Marquette Gay Illegal Aliens:
Pliant, responsive, and willing to do it for a nominal fee, if any. That'll work. Except that they're supergay, and no one can handle that, not now in the 21st century. Okay, I have a new idea: The Marquette Golden Retrievers. Pliant, responsive, and not at all human. They might be gay, but everyone is too embarrassed to check.
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home