Sunday, September 24, 2006

Fox Newswatch

"And while I truly admire President Bush..."

--Dennis Miller. I think they revoke your Oxford Classical Dictionary for saying things like this in public.

John Gibson has a typically enlightening piece on Ireland apparently hating America. When did America become synonymous with right-wing, born-again, golf-playing douche bags?

He cynically quotes the Irish Times for saying "Many Euros and other international players are put off by the overwhelming number of American PGA Tour players who identify themselves as George Bush-loving Republicans who support the U.S. occupation of Iraq." John, you'd be hard-pressed to find people who aren't like that today, but I guess you'd actually have to do research, like, you know, talk to people outside of the bathhouse.

Then, John hilariously suggests that Loren Roberts, Corey Pavin, and Tom Lehman are some of "golf's best players." And Boomer Esiason, Tony Eason, and Bernie Kosar are some of the finest quarterbacks in the NFL.

If you read carefully at the end, he suggests that Ireland is being ungrateful to America, which so graciously took in Irish immigrants in the 19th century and allowed them to build our railroads and fight in the Civil War. Here's where I cobble this suggestion:

"In other words, to the Irish we have become not the nation they sought to relieve their famines with open immigration, but a nation of George Bush war-mongering dullards whose presence in their emerald paradise they find not merely annoying but deeply offensive."

-What does "George Bush" modify in this sentence?

His next to last paragraph:

"I haven't even been to visit yet. Does this mean I can't go because I'm going to have some guy who looks like me and has my gene pool yelling at me in the pub while I'm trying to enjoy a pint and leave some of my dollars behind?"

You hear that, Ireland? He's threatening not to bitch at the guy behind the counter at the Shannon airport over the exchange rate and then leave behind ten euros with no tip at some America-themed bar in Kilkenny. You reap what you've sown.

I support John Gibson, and I think he should go over there and give Ireland a piece of his mind. Telling the Irish how to think: that always goes over well for non-popes.


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