Sunday, April 22, 2007

Saturday Night/Sunday Morning

And I've been drinking, and I'm very disappointed with things. Things are disappointing. They disappoint in a way that only mis-spelled term papers and the 2004 St. Louis Cardinals can disappoint. There are probably other disappointing things I can append to that list, but why belabor them? Herm Edwards workhorsing Larry Johnson. Okay, that's one more. But belabor them more I shan't. I'm watching Slow Century, the Pavement DVD. Literally. They're playing Summer Babe (Winter Version). Not anymore. They just got done. Now they're in a sauna. Anyway. With disappointment in mind, I thought of the most overused songs in movie soundtracks. Here's what I can think of:

Painted Black and Sympathy for the Devil, The Rolling Stones

Also overused in teenage suicide letters. Actually, let's focus on Sympathy. Okay, I get it, your main character is the devil/a devil figure. How ironic to use this song. Let's overreach, shall we, and use something less obvious. Might I suggest anything by Fallout Boy. Most people won't get it, you say? Well, that's what makes it work. Oddly, I only think of Mick Jagger and his post-90s stage presence when I think of this song. Lester Bangs is hanging out with Jagger's and Keith Richard's ingenuity in the Elysian fields right now. He says they're boring, but what does he know, he's dead.

Hallelujah, Leonard Cohen

Didn't know it was by Cohen, did you? Fuck you. Everyone knows the Jeff Buckley or the John Cale version. If you're retarded, you know the Rufus Wainwright version, which was featured in Shrek 2. At any rate, Buckley's is the most haunting because he died and because he has those angelic vocals. It's a stunning rendition if you can't bring yourself to think of Aaron Sorkin using this in a scene in the West Wing. Aaron, the less Allison Janney I think of when I hear this song, the better. So, preferably none. The more I think of Buckley, dead, in a lake, the more appropriate. The rules of decorum in rock and roll are startlingly different from those in polite society.

All Along The Watchtower by Bob Dylan (Jimi Hendrix Version)

If you have a montage that takes place in the '70s and use this song, you are a tool. So, if you have a movie that has a montage that takes place in the '70s, you're a tool. And a hack. Fuck you, Forrest Gump-sucker. Fun fact: Many people use this for home video wedding video compilations. They are sentimentalists, and retarded.

So that's all I have for that subject. There's more, I just can't think of anything else in my drunken state.

Onto other things. Gawker is a site for twiddling little joiners. So are most sites, I guess, since cults of personality will rule this century, but this site is one of the most flagrant. And I go there often so as to feel as a part of a group.

I can say that I've never been happier to be single, but the reasons for such make me incredibly sad. I'll set up an analogous situation: Say you know Kermit the Frog, and he's married. Not to Miss Piggy, because that's both idealistic and revisionist (I heard they had a falling out in the late 90s). Kermit is the best frogger in the region, and why not, he's a frog, and he's probably friends with Jay Leno. Then he decides to be something that requires that he not be a frog. It's disappointing, no? What will Jay Leno do? Probably rip off Letterman, but he's made his bed by now and he's comfortable with his choices. But what will you do? Accept Kermit the non-frog? Okay, so the analogy is getting out of my grasp at this moment, but you can feel the betrayal, can't you?

Okay, to set up a more believable situation: you know a homeless guy who has a heart of gold, and then he decides to buy a house. Man, that's gotta sting, right? You think you know someone. In this case, a homeless guy. Then he buys a house. The traitorous bastard.

Your problems are so oblique. Why do you gotta be like that?


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