Tuesday, June 06, 2006

O'Reilly to Gays: Go Fuck Yourselves

"But the truth is that many who oppose gay marriage do so because they believe that society is better served by putting traditional marriage in a special place."

Bill O'Reilly then goes on the slippery-slope stand-by that if you legalize gay marriage, you must legalize polygamy. First off, only ugly people engage in polygamy, so what's the concern? More ugly people off the market, that can only be a good thing for those of us who've trolled the bar scene looking for a potential mate. Not once have I seen an attractive polygamist. Even if there is an attractive polygamist or two, I wouldn't want anything to do with them, because they're Mormons. Mormons are weird. Holy shit, I just had a thought: What if the whole push to gay marriage is actually a polygamist thing? They know gay marriage has more support than polygamy, so it's a shadow game they're playing - they're secretly pulling the strings so that once gays can freely and openly marry, polygamy will slip right on through as well - and then, here's the thing, and then - I could marry three women and another man all of whom could marry others until everyone in America is married to each other. That would be fucked up, and that is not something I support. Bill O'Reilly, my hat is off to you. You keep America safe.

On a similar note, it's impossible not to see some right-wing commentator who believes religion is under attack in America today. Unfortunately, this is not the case. Would that we could foment some kind of intellectual assault on religion. Alas, we are forced to witness a Time and Newsweek cover story every month about Who Was Jesus, Really?, the types of articles that show just how little most Christians know of their own religion. I'm beating a dead horse, but here's what calling Jesus the Son of God does to the rest of us - it utterly puts us off. The Beatitudes are the most inspiring, open-minded religious treatise of all time. Why must others sully them by placing more importance on whatever miracles he may or may not have performed, or spurious claims of his resurrection? The Beatitudes are enough. It doesn't even matter who said them, just that they were said. If some religious nut wanted to put the Beatitudes on a stone tablet in front of a court building instead of the ten commandments, fine with me. They'd never do it though, because it would lay bare the fact that the Justice system is not the implementation of someone with a Christian bent. And so I'm forced to be wary of someone who was by all accounts a good guy because people fanatically and fantastically miss the point of his life. Remember when the Catholic Church came out at the turn of the last century and said that, essentially, Catholics should not look forward to life in heaven, but that heaven is more of a spiritual realm of the now in which we are in concert with God in the present? A religious leader in America says that, bloodshed ensues.

By the way, one last point: Want to drag a Conservative into a fight? (not something I would reccommend, for hygienic reasons, among others) Either tell him/her you either a) know more about Jesus than him/her or b) you love America more than him/her.


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