Monday, October 09, 2006

Holy Shit

I enjoy Gawker, especially how they take the time to label the douchiest douches at douche parties in New York. I enjoy the "Hipster or Homeless" game on Blue States Lose. I even enjoyed the "hot piece of twat" threat that ran so astonishingly long, but I was ever so disappointed in Idolator - part of the Gawker network - today. They gave away tickets to the New Yorker Dance Party, and had the winner write a summary of the night. Please read.


Okay, first off, how old is this guy? And how awesome does he think he is in this picture? Between pudge, wrinkles, and blemishes, he's anywhere from 24 to 45.

To the prose:

I had this really hot date so I didn't really get to nose around much

When I read this, I thought of that part from "Everything You Wanted To Know About Sex But Were Afraid To Ask" where the guy's on a date, and the little people in his brain are saying they don't know if they'll have a chance to have sex that night, and Tony Randall, the brain-commander, asks where she went to college, and and someone says, "NYU." Then Randall says, "Oh, we'll do it alright."

While me and my date were fucking making shit happen on the dance floor, there was this one guy (looked like he was almost done with his first novel) just standing there, fixed, right beside us.

I can't tell if he's snarkily saying he was fucking making shit happen, or if he truly believes that he was fucking making shit happen, but based on the photo and what ensues in this paragraph, I'm going for the former. What a douche. (Oh, and of course the guy looked like he was almost done with his first novel, because that's how you mock people these days. Not for being hipster douches.)

He looked funny, but kind of fun too, so my date did some fuck-me wriggling in front of him and ran her hands up and down his body repeatedly. No avail. He still didn't move. It was hilarious.

Yes, what a douche, indeed. So you think people with painful social anxiety are 'hilarious'? And your date is a shameless harlot? I bet your Halloween Sangria parties are fuckin' sweet. I hope this guy's sterile.


Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home