Tuesday, January 06, 2009

How to accept/encourage a romantic advance

If you are the recipient of a romantic advance that you would like to accept or encourage, follow the directions below for the best results.

1. After the advance has been made, display the hand gesture pictured below.

2. In a sultry voice say, "Don't I know you from somewhere? Have you ever been to Chicago?"

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Monday, January 05, 2009

Dumbest Thing I Have Read Today

From Barstool Sports, which you may know for its casual misogyny or its obnoxious Boston homerism, but whatever:

"I love the the chick who says she has an open mind, but seeing a guy standing on a snowboard that has a picture of a hot chick on it is offensive. Yeah wicked open minded."

The story in question is of a snowboard manufacturer who has a new "Playboy" line that features pictures of naked women posing in such a way to hide their naughty bits. I'm not linking because, fuck it.

I just had the burning need to point out that someone thinks that the douche bag on the snowboard with a naked chick on it is striking a blow for open-mindedness. Retard points for the wicked.

This is a site that also has a running feature titled "Guess That Ass". So why bother, you ask? Because look at that quote. Just look at it. It is someone poorly applying logic to a thoroughly inane story because it outraged him to the point that he needed to register his disdain in the most hilariously obtuse way possible. It's the sort of person who earnestly says, "What's with these fucking skanks who turn me down all the time?"